Home.

I watched John Wayne Saturdays with my Dad.

I watched endless hours of Criminal Minds with my Mom.

I played with 3 crazy dogs.

It's been a great stay at home!

Also, I forgot how much I love Grease!

Untitled

I know I've been a blogging maniac lately. I hope you've enjoyed it! I think I'm going to take a break.

I've been trying to blog for the past hour.

I've written 3 different posts. But I can't get myself to post them, something is stopping me.

Maybe I'm afraid of sharing.

I have so many things flowing through my head right now. And I don't know how to process it all.

I'll be back.

Good Morning

this is me. again. at 3:30 am. in my room at home.

It's 3:28 am.

Today has been one crazy day. Have you ever showered with no shower curtain? I have. It's hard.

I just got home-to my parent's house. It's my home now. I don't live at Carriage Cove now. Weird.

I just spent the whole night cleaning my (old) apartment.

My feet hurt. And my back. And I'm SOOOO tired! (don't ask why I'm blogging right now)

It felt surreal to be leaving. I'm not sure it has hit me yet. Maybe tomorrow.

There is a lot of stuff piled in my room and on my bed. I don't know where I'm gonna sleep.

See? Lots of stuff!

I think I'm going to stay up all night. I have work at 8. I'll let you know how it goes.

Full

that's me. in my practically empty room at 1 am. after a day of moving and moving and moving. also, i didn't shower today. just thought you should know.

Right now I'm sitting in my practically empty room at the Cove.

I spent the day packing and moving and moving and moving. And I'm tired.

Oh. And I smell.

Moving is hard! I'd forgotten how much I dislike it.

Almost all my belongings are piled high in my room at my parent's house. I will live there for a week while I wait to move into my new place. I'm looking forward to spending some time with my family! It will be refreshing to be somewhere "far away" from the drama of a single's ward.

I will spend the day cleaning and cleaning and cleaning in hopes that the Cove won't take a few last pennies from me. I've only given them close to $8,000 over the past two years. I'm sure they will find something to charge me for.

It feels strange to only have one more day in a place I have called "home" for two full years. Very full years! So much happened while I lived here. A lot changed. I changed.

Although it feels strange, it feels good to be leaving. I'm so glad I can say that. It took a long time and a lot of praying, but it does feel good. Change can be good! That's a lesson I've learned not only in the past few years, but in the past few months too.

Although my room is empty, I am not. I'm full. I'm full of so much. And I'm so grateful for that.

14 days

In 14 days I get to be Courtney, SN again! I can't wait.

I told some people the other day how excited I am for school to start again. One of them said "You must be a freshman." I was offended.

I just love what I get to learn and study. I'm passionate about it!

Find something your passionate about and go for it!

What are you passionate about?

Good Night

Every great dream begins with a dreamer. Always remember, you have within you the strength, the patience, and the passion to reach for the stars to change the world.

Harriet Tubman

When you come to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on.

Franklin D. Roosevelt

What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the master calls the butterfly.

Richard Bach

The most important thing to remember is this: To be ready at any moment to give what you are for what you might become.

W.E.B. Du Bois

If someone in your life talked to you the way you talk to yourself, you would've left them long ago.

Carla Gordon

You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do.

Eleanor Roosevelt

I just spent the last hour looking at quotes.

The above were some of my favorites. I thought I'd share.

Also, can you believe it's August 15th? In 2010? How did it get to 2010? How did we get over half way through the year? Remember Y2k?

My head hurts.

I'm going to bed. You should too.

Goodnight!

Running Away

One time when I was little I ran away from home.

I packed a bag. And I ran away. I was mad at my mom or something. I only made it to the church parking lot. I lived right next to the church. I had to go to the bathroom, so I went back home.

I want to run away again.

You know in Forrest Gump when he starts running and decides to just keep running. And he runs and runs and runs?

I wish I could run. I would do that. I would just start running and not stop for a really long time.

I would run from everything. Or maybe just myself. But I have a feeling everything and myself would still follow me.

I think I'm gonna watch Forrest Gump soon.

I Should've Been A Cowboy!

I never posted about my epic birthday party!

But, man, it was epic. Seriously, people still talk about it. Heck, I still talk about it.

It was incredibly fun! Probably one of the best nights of my life to date. I'm not exaggerating. If you weren't there I'm so sorry! Cause you seriously missed out. I can't even begin to describe how great it really was. I miss it!

Anyway, it was cowboy/western themed!

My dad pulled through BIG time and got me TWO bales of straw! Yes, bales of straw in my living room. Three of my best friends, Natalie, Julia, and Kaitlin made me a life size cardboard cut out of a real cowboy in my ward! Rachel, the girl who lives next door and a dear friend, made me a chocolate boot cake with cream cheese frosting! Denver, the aforementioned cowboy, came fully dressed with chaps and all. He taught us all how to lasso! Kristen made the best western food this side of the Provo River! I got some seriously awesome decorations that turned our apartment into something out of a western film with John Wayne.

We had homemade root-beer that made me do some crazy things that we don't talk about. We had about ten Nerf guns for shoot outs. We had a horse pinata! And of course, a rockin' western playlist! Tons of people came and I was so happy to see so many people that wanted to celebrate my birthday with me!

Kristen is so incredibly awesome! And made me a scrapbook and photo album of the epic night, so I can always remember what an incredible 21st birthday I had.

I don't know how I'm ever going to top that party!

{yee-haw!}

{learning how to lasso}

{shum, me, and natalie}

{pinata!}

{denver, me, and tron}

{my awesome boot cake!}

{this doesn't even come close to how many people were there!}

See. I told you. EPIC!

I'll Do That Tomorrow

Where did the summer go? How is it already over?

I don't even know what I did this summer. Pathetic! I think of the past 3 months and there is only one thing I can think of that I really did. It makes me upset with myself.

I was going to have a productive summer. I don't know what happened to that idea. Probably I just kept telling myself I'll do that tomorrow. But here I am with only 18 days till school starts and what have I got to prove for it? Nothin' really. I don't even have a tan!

I had a list for the summer. I had goals.

What happened to all the time? I feel like everyday gets shorter. As I get older time moves faster!

Procrastination will be the death of me.

It makes me feel sad. And disappointed.

Good thing school starts soon, so I can feel productive.

Here's a picture for your viewing pleasure of something I did do this summer:

I ate fried tacos at least once a month at our monthly taco nights!

Season

I can't belive I'm saying this. But I'm loving change right now. I can't wait to move!

Earlier this summer I was trying to convince Kristen to stay at the Cove. She said "I'm moving. You can come with me or you can stay." She knew I wouldn't stay without her. She kept telling me "We are moving. Everything is going to be okay." (Sometimes I feel like a child when I get so irrational and I'm sure she feels like a broken record.)

But now I can't wait.

I feel so ready! And it feels so good. This change feels so right. The Lord's timing is perfect. I don't think a change in my life could have come at a better time.

I have loved living at Carriage Cove and I have loved my ward. I have learned and grown so much. But there is season and time to everything. It's my time to change.

I'm reminded of the song "Turn! Turn! Turn" by The Byrds



And the scripture in Ecclesiastes.

To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under heaven.

Waiting

8 days. Till I leave the Cove.

14 days. Till I enter the Riverside.

15 days. Till Christopher gets HOOOMMMEEEE! (this makes me ecstatic everytime I think about it)

20 days. Till school starts!

23 days. Till Utah Football!

Let the countdowns begin!

What are your countdowns for?

Today I Feel...

Change

What we do allows the Atonement of Jesus Christ to change us into what we must be.

-President Henry B. Eyring

I love that. I love the Atonement. I love my Savior. I love the knowledge I have. I love that I can become what I must be.

We are here to change. We are here to become what we must be. We are here to return.

President Eyring's pray was 'Heavenly Father, it doesn't matter what I want. I don't care anymore what I want. I only want that Thy will be done. That is all that I want. Please tell me what to do.'

Are we willing to have this same prayer? Are we truly willing to do whatever He asks of us?

Are we willing to put aside any wants we have? Are we willing to put aside what we think is best?

I ask myself these questions. And I answer the way any of us would answer.

But then I think....

Why is it so hard to do my visiting teaching? Why is it so hard to remember my morning prayers? Why do I wait till 2 am to do my scripture study when I know I won't get much out of it?

And then I think how willing am I?

The natural man is a hard thing to fight. I'm so grateful the Lord is patient.

I hope you have a great Sunday.

Dreaming

I think we dream so we don't have to be apart so long. If we're in each other's dreams, we can play together all night.

I've been having a lot of dreams lately. They feel so real. And they are pretty great most of the time.

I wake up. And I want to go back to sleep. I wake up. And I'm sad because the dream is over.

I try to go back to sleep to get back to the dream, but my alarm keeps beeping. I must get up to start my day.

The dreams are so real. And they just have one thing in common.

Nothing to Prove

Doesn't this sound perfect?

But all that really matters is it's Friday
And the sun is shining over my way

Toss your heels in the backseat, drive home in your bare feet
Throw in that Van Morrison CD
Chip away a little by little 'til you find your groove
I'll pick up some takeout and we can just hang out

Levis and wine, blankets and lights down
Lay your head right here on my shoulder
And just be you when you're with me
girl, you got nothing to prove

When we're together you got nothing to prove

I can't wait till I have nothing to prove to someone. It will be heaven! And my Friday nights will be perfect. Someday. Not today. But someday. And I CAN wait.

I hope you all have a great weekend!! I know I will.

Perfection

I have been craving one of these so bad! And for a long time.

I think it's about time I feed this craving.

I wish I had something awesome to celebrate, so I could justify it.

But I'll probably just go get one without a reason other than that I want one. That's reason enough right?

If you haven't been to this heaven on earth yet stop reading this, stop whatever you are doing, just drop it all and GO! Right now. You won't regret it.

Seriously, I love those cupcakes so much. I tried to go last night, but they were

sold out. I almost cried. It was pretty pathetic.

My two favorites are Better Than Whatever and Raspberry Chocolate Cheesecake!

I could go on all day about these divine desserts! And you feel so trendy in that place. It's just so perfect. So Perfect!

Definition

Me: "What should I blog about?"

Kristen: "Me!"

cous-in

-noun

1. the son or daughter of an aunt or uncle

room-mate

-noun

1. a person who is assigned to share or shares a room or apartment with another person

best friend

-noun

1. the one friend who is closest to you

kris-ten

-noun

1. the one who feeds Courtney (see below)

2. cousin, roommate, best friend to Courtney

3. the one who says "everything is going to be okay. i promise."

4. the girl who can read Courtney like a book

5. the daughter of god who knows it

6. the woman who is the best kept secret in the world or ward

7. the lady who will make an amazing wife and mother someday

8. the student who is dedicated

9. the person who knows what she wants

10. the cousin Courtney likes best..shh don't tell

11. one of the best examples Courtney has in her life

12. one of the pillars Courtney turns to when she is weak

13. the person who cares about others more than herself

14. the most organized person Courtney has ever seen

15. the girl who will jam to T. Swift with Courtney in the car

16. the one who will take ridiculous looking pictures with me (see below)

17. the person Courtney could make 543 definitions about, but i'll stop now

all the answers

{what are your 3 favorite things to buy at target?}

number one: i always check out the $5 movies! you can find some pretty awesome deals. i have to be careful with this one though, cause if i don't have money it can be dangerous for me to venture over there. i'm always tempted to buy the good deals i find even if i have no money.

number two: the clearance section of course! another great place to find awesome deals!

number three: the purse/jewelry/headband section. last time i went to target i got a cute purse and a cute headband for under 20 bucks!

{what do you do at your clinical?}

clinical is the best! and I can't wait to start again in the fall.

last semester i had my clinical at a nursing home in south provo. And i loved it! old people are pretty awesome. at that clinical we had the role of a CNA (certified nursing assistant) some of the time and the role of an RN (registered nurse) the rest of the time. we had clinical once a week for about 5 hours.

we were assigned or picked a patient that we worked with for 2-3 weeks. first thing in the morning we met together as a clinical group. 8 nursing students and our clinical instructor. then we were sent to take care of our patient for the day. first, we had to make sure our patient was alive. i was always terrified of finding my patient not breathing. luckily, that never happened. next, we would look at the shower schedule-did our patient need a shower that day? and talk to the CNA or RN who was over that patient. whatever our patient needed in that 5 hours we did. we helped them get up, change their brief, get dressed, brush their teeth, brush their hair, eat, physical therapy, etc.

each week we were required to do a baseline assessment. that consisted of vitals, heart assessment, lung assessment, abdominal assessment, neuro assessment, etc. we also had several other assignments we had to do over the 10 week clinical experience.

we also did 2 med passes. we were required to give our patient their morning meds with our clinical instructor. we had to do an assignment before where we looked up each medication and wrote down certain things about the meds. our instructor would ask us questions about the meds and make sure we did the 5 rights of medication administration (right patient, right time, right dose, right route, right documentation) and then watch us administer the drugs.

we also had to do 2 nursing care plans. a nursing care plan consisted of a nursing diagnosis, outcomes, interventions, and an evaluation.

this next semester our clinical is at a hospital. i'm going to be at the university of utah hospital and huntsman cancer institute! And I can't wait. We will have rounds on pretty much every floor of the hospital except ob, peds, icu, and pysch.

we will be assigned a different patient each week. and required to do a pre-assessment on each patient the night before. i've heard these are killer and can take up to 10 hours!! (i'm tellin' ya they require our blood, sweat, tears, and sleep. But i love it! call me crazy.) i'll be able to tell you more about this clinical when it starts in about a month!

that was probably more information than you ever wanted to know!

{where do you live?}

currently I live at the good ole' Cove! carriage cove. Or as others like to call it marriage cove. Although, it has not been such a place for me. :) i've really liked it. And i'm gonna miss it.

{how do I feel about a THS reunion?}

i feel so marvelous about this it's not even funny! when? where? i'm there!

{when will you be done with school?}

i will be done with school in April 2012. i can't wait to be a nurse! but i love nursing school!

{what's your favorite scripture?}

alright chelsie you asked some hard questions. my favorite scripture. i feel like you can learn a lot about a person by their favorite scripture. And it's hard for me to pick just one.

2 nephi chapter 4. especially versus 20-25

mosiah 2: 20-25

romans 15:4

doctrine and covenants 58:2-4

there you go. but it does change a lot.

{favorite quote?}

oh boy! i have got a lot of these. ready? go!

the worst thing we can do is to give away the time we have by living in either the past or the future because there's not one blessed thing we can do to alter the past or to make the future come any faster.

chieko n. okazaki

what you have to give is enough, if you give it with all your heart.

the pain of sacrifice is only but a moment. it's the fear of that pain that makes us hesitate to act.

elder bosche

love is the essence of human experience and emotion. it is at the root of all and everything we, as humans, do. without love, what do we have to live for?

plus the two to the right!

and plus many more.

i'm also really loving president uchtdorf's talk from the most recent priesthood session.

{if I could do anything for a day, what would I do?}

i think i would spend my day on a ranch in a far away place. i would wear cowboy boots all day. and a cowgirl hat. and some old jeans that fit just right. i would start the day with some vanilla yogurt and granola. maybe milk a cow, shear a sheep, collect some eggs from the coup, feed the horses. before lunch I would go on a hike to a beautiful lake where we might do some fishing or dip our feet in. and shoot some guns. i would have blt's for lunch. then i would go on a horseback ride in the mid-afternoon/evening. i would take just a few people with me. people I love. people who can enjoy silence. we would find some wide open spaces and just ride! then for dinner I would have good ole' fashion steak with mashed potatoes and a fresh salad with homemade ranch. and dutch oven cobbler for dessert with homemade ice cream. we would dance in the kitchen as we do the dishes. then we would watch the sun set from the porch that goes all the way around the house, drinking raspberry lemonade and enjoying each other's conversation and company. and there would probably be a fire. with s'mores. and i would cuddle with the one i love. yes, yes that is what i would do.

{where am I living in the fall?}

i'm living at riverside condos. It's just down the street from the cove; literally less than a block. and they are blue. i hate change. but i feel ready for this one. i feel pretty stagnant right now. i think i'm starting to grow moss. i'm ready for this change. i'm ready for school to start. i'm ready for something big!

{do I secretly want a specific calling?}

well I just got released as the RSP in my ward. i've been in for a year. and i have absolutely 100% loved it! it has been so incredible. and i have learned and grown so much. my testimony has grown ten fold and i'm so grateful for it. i love the girls i have been able to serve! And i'm going to miss them dearly. they are such wonderful girls and have changed me for the better.

i can't say that i secretly hope for a specific calling. i would love to teach though! i'm excited for a new calling. and the blessings it will bring to me.

{am I living with Kristen again?}

heck yes! thank goodness. she takes care of me. more than she knows. i don't know what i would do without her. Seriously. i tell everyone she is the best kept secret in our ward. i love her! forever!

{am I going to run a marathon with my mom?}

i told my mother that i would run a marathon with her if i got into the nursing program. but i didn't think i would actually get in! so yes, i am going to run one with her. but i don't know when. probably when i get my lazy bum off the couch and start running on a regular basis.

{who is the one?}

see previous answer to the question about what i would do for a day. THE one is the one who would do that with me!

{did I do everything on my summer list?}

unfortunately, no. i definitely had the time. i'm not sure why i didn't. i learned one song on the guitar. it has 2 chords! i played tennis a few times. kind of learned how to play. i read one book. but i'm hoping to read a few more before school starts. i did NOT get a tan. i haven't gotten rid of anything. but i'm sure i will when i move. i didn't really learn how to cook. i didn't learn how to sew a button on. dang! i hiked some though. and i didn't get my young woman hood award. dang! maybe next summer! :)

POST edit: i hope you all enjoyed this. i did! thanks for asking the questions. let's do this again soon. sorry it's the longest post ever.

P.S. welcome to august! can you believe it's august??

Antsy

Is it August 24th yet??

I miss this kid. Terribly. August 24th can't come fast enough.

p.s. I have not forgotten your questions. If you haven't asked one yet look to the previous post and ask away! I will be answering them shortly.

Q&A

So I feel like blogging. But I don't know what to write. Everything in my head is so disheveled right now.

Since I don't know what to blog about I'm giving you readers the choice.

Do you have a question for me?

ASK! Leave your question in the comment section.

I'll answer whatever you ask. Promise!