In Love Again

I'm in love....

with my LIFE!

I realized this as I was running tonight. I'm so grateful for wonderful realizations like this. I'm just so happy with where my life is right now. Of course there are things I still want in my life, things I wanna do, things I wanna be. And I'm working towards those things. But right now I know I'm where I'm supposed to be, doing what I'm supposed to be doing, being who I'm supposed to be. It's incredible!

I've never felt this strongly and wonderfully about my life. I love it. I'm in love!

He Loves Me

Don’t it seem sometimes that the world is fallen and you’re standing underneath

And you’ll never get out from under it, at least that’s how it feels.

With a load so heavy and the days so long

You can barely breathe

And the only thing that keeps you standing is getting on your knees.

I need that burden lifted when my strength is gone

There is one thing that keeps me holding on.

Deeper than my heart can hide, stronger than I feel inside

More than I realize

He loves me.

Steady as the day goes by, longer than the reach of time

Enough to give his life,

He loves me.

I have felt it in the darkest night, as he stayed with me till dawn.

On the days when I’m too weak to walk, he carries me along.

Above the noise and the clatter down deep in my soul,

In the middle of my pain

He tells me I can make it and he promises to stay

In a world where nothings certain, I can count on this

There is no love, no love truer than his.

Deeper than my heart can hide, stronger than I feel inside

More than I realize

He loves me.

Steady as the day goes by, longer than the reach of time

Enough to give his life,

He loves me.

He knows I’m not perfect, but he loves me right here, right now.

When I’m weak, when I’m strong, when I stand, when I fall

Just as I am,

He loves me

I know he loves me.

Deeper than my heart can hide, stronger than I feel inside

More than I realize

He loves me.

Steady as the day goes by, longer than the reach of time

Enough to give his life,

He loves me.

He loves me.

Comfort

today was disappointing.

good thing tomorrow is a new day.

this gives me hope:

a coffee bean

A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved, a new one arose.

Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on high. Soon the pots came to a boil. In the first she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs and in the last she placed coffee beans. She let them sit and boil, without saying a word.

In about 20 minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl. Turning to her daughter, she asked, “Tell me what you see?”

“Carrots, eggs and coffee,” she replied. Her mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. The mother then asked the daughter to take and egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard boiled egg. Finally, the mother asked the daughter to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled as she tasted the rich aroma. The daughter then asked, “What does it mean, mother?”

Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity ~ boiling water. Each reacted differently. The carrot went in strong, hard and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak. The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior, but after sitting through the boiling water, its insides became hardened. The ground coffee beans were unique however. After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water. “Which are you?” she asked her daughter. “When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?”

Think of this: Which are you? Are you the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity do you wilt and become soft and lose your strength? Are you the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did you have a fluid spirit, but after a dearth or a trial have you become bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and a hardened heart?

Or are you like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you.

When the hour is the darkest and trials are their greatest, do you elevate yourself to another level? How do you handle adversity? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?

May your find enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human and enough hope to make you happy. The happiest people don’t necessarily have the best of everything – they just make the most of everything that comes their way. The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past, you can’t go forward in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.

When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling. Live your life so at the end, you are the one who is smiling and everyone around you is crying. Keep your heart soft and may it always have peace.

I met a coffee bean today! She was incredible. I gave her a hug and tried to somehow show her how much her story meant to me. She's the author of a book called Big Al. Go read it. Now. And then do everything in your power to meet this amazing woman.

I hope I grow up to be just like her!

She made me cry.

Also, she said she has a Twinkie or a Ding Dong for breakfast every morning!

Today was a good day!

My Kind of Paradise

I went home yesterday in between the CES Fireside and ward prayer. I only had an hour. But can I tell you how precious that hour was?

It was so precious!

My mom was the only one home. Well except for Koda.

But it was so wonderful to just spend that hour with my mom!

I love her!

And it was such a nice break. I even got a bagel.

I was sad when I had to go back to the real world.

I love my little paradise. And it's only 5 minutes away. (or less depending on how I hit the lights)

Thanks mom! I needed and loved that hour more than you know! And I love you and appreciate all that you do for ME (more than you know)!

It Doesn't Get Better Than This-Part 2

Here's part 2 of my shout out to those people (or things) that helped me get through this semester!

My bathroom buddy:

It's been fun sharing a bathroom. You've been so great! Especially that time I got out of the shower and you said "How was it?" and I said "HOT!". Yes. Good times. I'm glad I live with you.

Any of the girls in my ward who wrote me a brownie note:

We have these things in my ward called "brownie notes". You can write a note to whomever you would like in the ward and then you put it in the brownie box and it gets delivered. I look forward to their delivery every Sunday cause I hope that I will get at least one from one of the girls in my ward. They seriously make my day! They are so sweet and kind to me. And I just love them. I keep all the brownie notes they write to me. I don't think they know how much it means to me when I get a note from them. It makes me think about how happy God must be when we pray to him. He must get so excited!

My new nursing friends:

(I don't think any of you read this, but I still want to include you) They've been so great! I've met so many great people already. And some people who help me realize that everyone can teach us something. Like the girl who said she wants to graduate college with straight A's. She taught me that it's okay to have really high goals, but we need to be realistic. Or the girl who only showered once during finals week. She taught me that you really DO need to find time shower. (Although, I already knew that, maybe I need to teach her something). Nursing students are crazy, but they've been really great to me too. I'm excited to spend the next 2 1/2 years with them and to meet even more great people!

A weekly email from Ukraine:

Hey kiddo. You rock! I loved those times I got a personal email from you. It seriously made my day! I'm so proud of you. And I miss you. Oh. And hey, it's been a while since I've gotten a letter....Checka!

Emily:

She's awesome. And I miss her. She's in France now. (As you saw below). She was so understanding when I couldn't stay up late talking to her on gmail chat cause I was just too tired. And she gave me Lyle to take care of while she's gone. She always has such great advice for me!

All my blogger friends:

I loved getting on and reading what you had to write. I hoped everyday that I would open my google reader and there would be lots and lots of items for me to read. I looked forward to it so much! It was such a nice break to read about your lives. :)

My bed:

I loved getting into you after a long day! Feeling your warmth was magical. I'm sure we'll have many more great nights together!

Dr. Pepper:

Thanks for helping me not fall asleep when I was really tired. You are a true friend.

Grey's:

I loved my escape every Thursday night for an hour. Thanks!

Well I did it! I made it through my first semester of nursing school. But I didn't do it alone! And I'm so glad.

It Doesn't Get Better Than This

I. Am. So. Blessed

Here's a little shout out to some peeps who made it possible for me to make it through this crazy, busy semester!

My mommy and daddy:

They have always been there for me. Through everything! And they give me lots of money so I can go to school and become a nurse. Thanks for letting me call and vent or be excited. Thanks for letting me come over to get food and do my laundry and to talk to you about my life. Thanks for coming to jump my car. More than once! Thanks for letting me still be your pumpkin' and baby doll. Thanks guys! You rock!I promise I'll talk care of you when you are old and can't take of yourself :) I love you both. A lot!

my dad helping my mom walk around the nurses' station a year ago after her back surgery

Kristen:

This girl is pretty much amazing! I would not have made it through this semester without her. I'm so glad I get to live with her. And she feeds me. Good food too! I love her. A lot. And I can't imagine what my life would be like without her and I'm sure glad I don't have to. Thanks for always telling me that I'm going to be a good nurse and for calming me down when I start to freak out. And for telling me that I'm a good relief society president. You are simply the best! And I love you!

My Savior:

Prayer is fantastic. The gospel is truly amazing! My testimony and faith have grown ten fold in the past year and I'm so grateful. Being the relief society president has given me a whole new perspective on the love the Savior has for each of us. I'm amazed! I can't imagine doing this earthly experience thing without Him! I know He lives. I know He loves me. {and you}. Life is fantastic!

p.s. there are many more people (and things) that have helped me this semester. Look for installment 2-coming soon!

To The Man Upstairs: (Part 3)

Dear God,

Thanks for everything! You rock!!

Courtney

To The Man Upstairs: (Part 2)

Dear God,

It's me again. Thanks for helping me today. I think I didn't fail. I hope so. Can I ask for another blessing? Please bless that I don't fail my microbiology lab final tomorrow. Thank you so much!

Courtney Sue

P.S. Do you know how much I love you? Of course you do! :)

The Good Stuff

"I know there are many that suffer heartbreak, loneliness, pain, and setback. These experiences are a necessary part of the human experience. However, please do not lose hope in the Savior and His love for you. It is constant. He promised that He would not leave us comfortless.

When we face challenges in our lives, we are comforted by the words of the Lord in the 58th section of the Doctrine and Covenants:

“Ye cannot behold with your natural eyes, for the present time, the design of your God concerning those things which shall come hereafter, and the glory which shall follow after much tribulation.

“For after much tribulation come the blessings. Wherefore the day cometh that ye shall be crowned with much glory; the hour is not yet, but is nigh at hand.”

Therefore, brothers and sisters, we must press on and eventually become more like the Lord in the process."

-Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin

"The Lord has not asked him to do that. The Lord has asked us, as home teachers, to love and watch over our assigned families. The Lord has not asked President Monson to organize and conduct our family home evening. He wants us, as fathers, to do this.

You may feel that there are others who are more capable or more experienced who could fulfill your callings and assignments better than you can, but the Lord gave you your responsibilities for a reason. There may be people and hearts only you can reach and touch. Perhaps no one else could do it in quite the same way.

Our Heavenly Father asks that we represent Him in the noble work of reaching out and blessing the lives of His children. He asks us to stand firm with the power of the priesthood in our hearts and souls and give the calling we have at this moment our best efforts.

As strong as you are, you cannot and you should not lift a piano by yourself. Likewise, none of us can or should move the Lord’s work alone. But if we all stand close together in the place the Lord has appointed and lift where we stand, nothing can keep this divine work from moving upward and forward."

-President Dieter F. Uchtdorf

The Good Stuff

I'm excited for school to start. (Less than a month).

I love my job.

I get to be a nurse in less than 3 years.

I get to see Chris in less than two weeks.

Lee and Sara are going on a cruise and I'm jealous.

I get to wear scrubs to work.

I love reading the Ensign.

I'm trying to finish the Book of Mormon before the end of the year.

I ran a 5k this summer. And actually finished.

I will get to wear scrubs to school.

I removed stitches today.

I shaved a man's chest.

I got 2 boxes of cereal, 2 boxes of pop tarts, 2 packages of cookies, 2 boxes of nutri-gran bars, and 2 boxes of fruit snacks for $2.00.

I went to an awesome wedding reception this week for two great friends.

I met a crazy man, but got to help him and realize that God loves him just as much as He loves me.

I watched The Adventures of Food Boy and enjoyed seeing people I knew as well as seeing my high school be famous. Unfortunately I didn't see myself.

I went on a midnight bargain/coupon shopping spree with Kristen and Kelsey.

I have a brand new scale.

My dad is incredible. And an answer to one of my best friend's prayers.

I am officially a credit card holder.

I have a new wallet that I love.

I really want to go on a bike ride.

I get to wait outside the temple.

I got a letter from Christopher.

I've been to the temple Open House 4 times.

Koda is getting huge.

I cleaned up a lot of blood at work.

I got some awesome deals at Buy Low.

Lola is getting 29 miles to the gallon.

I have not left Utah this whole summer.

I told my mom I would run a marathon with her.

Rasberry cheesecake shakes from Arctic Circle are better than anything else in the world.

I got to play in a concert with Dr. Fullmer directing.

I went to the Spanish Fork Rodeo.

I went camping with my family.

Country music is my obsession right now.

I have conference on CD.

I can't wait for football season.

I laid on the new Utah football field.

Christopher has almost been gone for a year; Jonathan has been gone for 16 months; Richard has been gone for almost 15 months.

Emily is getting her call soon.

Country music is playing all day at work.

There is a sweet deal at Build-A-Bear for the month of August. I want to go.

My new favorite song is Big Green Tractor. I don't care if Nichelle makes fun of me.

I'm going to own a horse someday. And live on a farm.

My co-workers are the best.

I wouldn't be able to do what I'm doing with out my amazing parents who support me in everyway possible and more. And I wouldn't trade them for the world.

I've learned to go to bed early.

I don't have internet at my apartment right now. Or at least not on my computer.

I have the 4 cutest nephews ever.

My wish list is long.

I would love to have an old fashion bike.

I want to know how to play the guitar.

I need/want a new laptop.

I still have dreams even though my #2 dream came true. #1 is still in the works.

The temple is less than 5 minutes from where I live.

I got sprayed with liquid nitrogen today.

I get to sit front row in the North end zone again this year with my momma.

Pumpkin chocolate chip cookies are my weakness.

I'm no longer on probabtion. (That means it has been over a year since I have been pulled over!)

I was not attacked with a hatchet today.

Life is so good!

:)

I got a new job that I love! I got a job as a medical assistant at the IHC Saratoga Springs Instacare and Family Practice. The only bad thing about it is the drive. It takes me about 25-30 minutes to get out there. But it's totally worth it. I love the other nurses and ma's. And the doctors are great too! I've been training this whole week. I even did 4 blood draws today!! It was so fun. And got me really excited to start the nursing program!

The Lord has really blessed me. And I am so grateful!

I find...

-life fascinating
-the sunshine healing
-the end of school around the corner
-love in my family
-support from my friends
-laughter in 216
-sleep wherever I can find it
-help at the Writing Center
-hope in my Savior
-trust in my God
-comfort in the words of prophets
-and happiness everywhere

I couldn't write fast enough

Wow. I loved conference! It was so wonderful to hear such words of comfort and peace. I was grateful for the words of warning as well. I'm so grateful for leaders called of God to warn us in these last days.

I usually always have a favorite talk, but this time I can't pick one favorite talk. But I did really enjoy the provident living talk by Elder Hales. It's something I need to think about this summer when I'm trying to save money. I also felt a tinge of guilt when Sister Margaret Lifferth said "How do you act at sporting events?" I know that is something I need to work on.

I also enjoyed Elder Christofferson's advice. He said we need strong Christians who can make important things happen by their faith. I also really loved President Erying's talk. He said that adversity is evidence of God's love for us. He also said that Christ could have succorred his people through revelation, but he choose to suffer in order to succor us. He choose to do it for us!

Elder Ballard also gave a wonderful analogy that I liked. He said we don't have to be a Laman or a Lemuel to know it is much better to be a Nephi or a Jacob. Another quote that I really liked was from President Ucthdorf he said that eternal life is not a sprint, it's an endurance race and we have to stay with it. He also quoted Elder Wirthlin who said "Even if we give up on ourselves our Father in Heaven never will. We see ourselves as yesterday and today, but the Lord sees us as forever."

And, of course, I loved Elder Holland's talk. He's my favorite. And I was so grateful for his wonderful account of the Savior's last days. He said that we don't have to walk the path alone. Christ already did it for us.

I was so grateful to hear from President Monson. I was grateful that the choir sang We Thank Oh God For a Prophet. It was such a wonderful experience to hear his testimony. And his profound words of wisdom.

I was also grateful for all the talks about temples! It felt especially applicable since I had the oppurtunity to attend the Draper Temple Open House and Dedication last month.

Elder Scott talked about the how we can improve our temple attendance and the experience we have there. He said that when a temple is close there is no excuse not to attend. He said to remove your watch and listen carefully for the Spirit. He also adviced to keep in the mind the person you're doing the work for and to pray for them. Elder Bednar also spoke about temples. He said that the adversary is mindful of the number of temples that dot the Earth. I also really liked when he said that there is a difference between members who attend church, pay a full tithe, and occassionally attend the temple and those members who faithfully attend the temple. It made me desire to have a more dedicated temple attendance. Gary E. Stevenson talked about temples and quoted a child who said "You are never lost when you can see the temple." How true this statement can be.

I am so thankful for the comfort and peace this weekend brought to me. I am especially grateful for it as the end of the semester and finals are coming up. I hope that I can remember and apply all that was said.

No Matter What

I've decided that not matter what happens in the next 3 months that life is good! I will not fear. I will not doubt. (D&C 6:36)

Tender Mercy of the Week

So I have a great friend, Jonathan, who is on a mission in Melbourne, Australia right now. And I've been pretty worried about him as of late because of all the catastrophic fires they've been having. Not extremely worried, but worried enough cause I don't really have a way of knowing if he is okay. So really I've just been praying for his safety and what not. And then the Lord gave me a tender mercy. I ran into Jonathan's mom on campus! I was so happy to see her. And I was able to talk to her and ask about Jonathan. She said he was okay as of Monday when he emailed last, that they hadn't been evacuated or anything, but that she trusted the Mission President. I was so grateful to know that was okay!!

remember lot's wife

I heard this amazing devotional on Tuesday! I loved every minute of it. Elder Holland is my favorite, which made it so much sweeter. I think it was my favorite devotional I've attended. I'm sitting in the Varsity Theater in the Wilk holding back the tears so the two strangers I'm sitting in between don't think I'm a freak. I feel like everything he said was exactly what I needed to hear. I've felt that way a lot lately. The Lord seems to have expounded the tender mercies on me. I need to be better about seeing them and realizing how blessed I really am. Please read this devotional! Even if you have already heard it, read it again! I hope you find as much as I did.