Lately I feel as if everyone I know is worried about how they look. I mean almost everyone. It makes me sad and worried.
What is beauty? Who gets to decide who is beautiful? Who gets to decide what "skinny" is? And why do we let "them" decide?
This past summer I met some pretty shallow guys. Guys who told me that they are only attracted to really, really, really skinny girls. I kept thinking "Why does my pant size matter? What gives them the right to care about my pant size? Who do they think they are?" It made me angry to say the least.
I was in Target the other day when a young mother said to her young daughter "Stop asking me about that every 5 minutes. It's like that is all you are thinking about it. Why don't you think about exercising and being skinny?" I was horrified. And I wanted to say something, but I didn't.
Even in an LDS world that I live in, where we are told that women are divine and daughters of God, I see women more worried about how they look than who they are.
I recently read an article in LDS Living, entitled Beauty Redefined: Rejecting the Media's Impossible Standards, it said that Salt Lake was ranked the "Vainest City in the Country" in 2007 and 2008. And in the top 5 in 2009. "This ranking is due to the city's record-breaking amount spent on beauty products and treatments like Botox, an amount that is ten-fold the amount spent in cities of comparable size. If you've looked at billboards along any Utah freeway, you've won't be shocked to hear Salt Lake City has the most plastic surgeons per capita, at six per 100,000 residents, trumping New York City and Los Angeles."
So, let's redefine beauty! It's up to us really. What are we going to teach our daughters? What are we going to change about OUR definition of beauty? We get to decide; we get to define it. Not "them". Whoever "them" is.
I love when I see the campaign's like Dove's Real Beauty Campaign! Dove's Evolution Video. Or BYU Women's Services Recapturing Beauty Campaign! I love it!
I also recently read a post from CJane's blog. It was a guest post from one of her friends, Janna Dean, who is social worker. She said the scale determines how we feel about ourselves. If the number goes up we're depressed and if the number goes down we're happy. I know I am guilty of this. And as sad as it is it's true. I'm almost 99% sure any girl reading this right now agrees. Janna also said we get to choose our battle. "Rather than engaging in a battle laid out for you by the media and body-obsessed culture-a battle designed for you to lose-you can choose to fight a battle you can win. You can choose a battle that will help you achieve self-esteem and acceptance you are craving. I choose to battle the notion that my body shape, skin, hair style, clothing, and weight have anything to do with the peace I find in my life."
Janna also gave some helpful tips for this battle:
- Throw away your scale
- Eliminate "fat" talk
- Say something positive about yourself everyday
- Express gratitude
- Make a list of things your body did well that day
- Eat when you're hungry, stop when you're full
- Exercise when it feels good and stop when it doesn't
- Become a critical viewer of the media
- Give up talk about dieting, calories, etc.
- Work on developing things you are passionate about
- Pray for the Lord's help
"I plead with you young women to please be more accepting of yourselves, including your body shape and style, with a little less longing to look like someone else. We are all different. Some are tall, and some are short. Some are round, and some are thin. And almost everyone at some time or other wants to be something they are not! But as one adviser to teenage girls said: “You can’t live your life worrying that the world is staring at you. When you let people’s opinions make you self-conscious you give away your power. … The key to feeling [confident] is to always listen to your inner self—[the real you.]” And in the kingdom of God, the real you is “more precious than rubies.” Every young woman is a child of destiny and every adult woman a powerful force for good. I mention adult women because, sisters, you are our greatest examples and resource for these young women. And if you are obsessing over being a size 2, you won’t be very surprised when your daughter or the Mia Maid in your class does the same and makes herself physically ill trying to accomplish it. We should all be as fit as we can be—that’s good Word of Wisdom doctrine. That means eating right and exercising and helping our bodies function at their optimum strength. We could probably all do better in that regard. But I speak here of optimum health; there is no universal optimum size." (full talk here)
So, we all have a choice. We all have a battle to fight. Which battle you fight is up to you. I know for myself I'm choosing the battle against the world.
I wanna love my body just the way it is. I wanna teach my daughters about real beauty. I wanna teach them what Janna Dean wrote. I wanna teach them about recapturing and redefining beauty. I wanna teach them what Elder Holland has tried to teach us. I wanna learn what Elder Holland has taught. I wanna redefine beauty. I wanna define beauty.
Will you join me?
